stop brexit

I am going to turn 68 this summer.

I am an old man, who looks with occasional bitterness and regret over the past.

I have aches and pains that make getting about more difficult than I remember.

My eyesight is nothing like it used to be.

My hair is falling out.

I have memory lapses.

And I sometimes fixate on what might have been — had I made different decisions at various turning points in my life.

I try not to succumb to sentimentality over the faded splendor of the sort of life I had while growing up — before life in late adulthood passed me by, and I became disappointed in myself — that I did not turn out to be good enough to make a better go of it, despite ample opportunities, and failing to pick myself up when I had a final bad break and my life suddenly collapsed.

Sometimes I despair, when I think this way.

Everyday that passes bring more news of the ascendancy of global fascism and I have difficulty accepting that the bad guys often seem to win.

If I am to survive, I must find a way to get out this hole — despite being poor, in ill-health, and old.

All I need is a sliver of daylight… and I will slither out of the American darkness, and never return.

But who builds a new life when pushing 70?

The prospect of it is daunting; but I must do this, or waste away the rest of my life in a place where I no longer belong, a place that has so warped my personality that I no longer recognize who I have become.

And so, I await the news, and gear up for the last bold gamble of my life.

It is not one I can afford to lose.

leaving america


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.