Few expect Donald Trump to meet his end like Al Pacino in Scarface or, say, Qaddafi in Sirte — instead, most of those who care about the survival of democracy in the United States fantasize about something along the lines of an orange jump suit and solitary confinement in a cell with a picture of Obama hanging on the wall following this imaginary scenario.

With the release of the (ambivalent, redacted and grossly misrepresented by the current Attorney General, who does not appear to practice yoga or a healthy, ascetic life-style) Muller Report, it is reasonable to conclude that Donald Trump would not have been elected president without Putin having actively and willfully abetted his campaign in order to subvert American democracy.

Just take the (unidentified in the Muller Report as to county or counties affected) interference by Russia in the voting machinery in Florida; without the Sunshine State allegedly going for Trump by a razor thin 1.2% winning margin, he would not be president today.

In the days and months ahead, leading up to Nov 2020, there will be endless discussions on this matter.  Democrats will ponder whether they should impeach Donny, as more geriatric candidates join the fray.

MSNBC and CNN will conduct endless interviews with articulate, photogenic talking heads who believe this, that, and the other thing.    Some despairing Dems will hope for a Trump, stripped of Presidential immunity, finally succumbing to a relentless and legally savage indictment by the Southern District of New York, as well as a Democrat-controlled DOJ. These are the same people who canonized Muller as the coming savior of American democracy.

The NY Times and other print media will publish Op Eds and editorials galore professing gloriously sonorific outrage.

And throughout it all, Donald Trump will remain president, as few Democrats or Independents — even if presented with ever more damnable evidence that the 2016 election produced an illegitimate result — would be willing to take to the streets in the numbers required to unseat the Orange One with the really disturbing, botoxy facial expressions.

After all, there’s the paycheck and stock options to think about, the mortgage, the kids’ college fund, and of course that pesky 401K that could vaporize at the merest hint of massive civil unrest in this country

muller redactions
You might want to download this and read it

And so, they will squawk a bit, mainly to feel good about themselves and look like upright citizenry to their friends and lovers, but will stop at engaging in protracted nation-wide civil disobedience because, if truth be told, and sorry to mention this, but the yoga classes down at the gym are not free, and what’s more important than aligning mind and body in the quest for eternal inner peace?

Which Yoga should you choose:  the ever popular Vinyasa, or the more esoteric Vinegar form?

Okay, so it’s really called Iyengar (tip: stay away from Ansara, an offshoot that developed a creepy Friend problem), but I sophomoronically call it Vinegar yoga as a mnemonic to help me remember these Sanskrit terms that I had never heard of before this week.

My excuse for doing this is that I am old and like senile jokes now.

I’ve only taken 2 classes so far, both Vinyasa, and while I enjoyed meeting new people and doing something to help my neck and shoulder issues, I’m not convinced that Vinyasa is the right choice for me.

After doing a little armchair research, it seems that Iyendar yoga is the way to go — again, for a guy like me.

Little time was spent in the class I attended on going over and correcting the asanas (postures) that the instructor cycled through at a rapid clip.  It was almost like a race through all these awkward poses — the balance ones gave me the most trouble — in order to break a sweat.

I thought the purpose of Yoga was contemplation; a gentle physical pursuit whose goal was meditative, but this was not my experience with Vinyasa yoga.

My Vinyasa class consisted of (predominantly older) women, most of whom were short and looked like they weighed no more than 130-140 lbs.

I’m 6’3″ and weigh 250, again (yes, I’m working on that).

And I have neck and trapezoid issues. I have back issues. (Here are some good poses for the back.)

And, oh yes, I am going to be 68 this summer.

So stretching my leg up in the air while bending forward and resting my considerable weight on the fingertips of my right hand (the one I broke last year when I fell down in the kitchen after slipping on a patch of water on the floor) is not really for me.

What I want, what I need, is yoga done slow.

I want to do stretch and balance exercises correctly (to minimize the chance of injury) and hold them for a while, instead of treating yoga like a Pilates session.

After all, I don’t need yoga for my cardio; I have my bicycle and a big swimming pool for that.

And I don’t particularly care for the New Age music or the trilling OM business at the end, which I consider faintly ridiculous.

So Vinegar is obviously the way to go; there are plenty of instructional vids on YouTube to choose from.

I wonder…

Will my focus on enlightenment and doing stretching exercises — instead if manning the barricades and doing pitched battle with the lumpen proles — make the world a better place and safe from the lardass currently in the White House?

I doubt it.

But then again, I’m moving to Portugal in September, so it’s not really my problem any more, is it?

leaving america



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