Your world

The anchorite’s castle

It’s the usual 5am wakeup for me on a Monday here in FLA. I’m in a swami mood today, so bear with me.

I typically go to bed by 10, get a good night’s sleep on a monk’s bedding of cotton blankets strewn on a concrete floor, and sleep alone, unperturbed in the quiet nights where I choose to live.

Now that I longer drink, I always wake up refreshed.

The concrete floor does wonders for my back; I have been doing this for 15 years. When I travel, I hate sleeping in strange beds, and often will sleep on the floor.

And now, let me take a step back and explain to you my Philosophy of Life..

I am unconcerned with much of the world — after all, is anyone concerned with me?

I question if even those who think they are closest to me would truly be devastated if I keeled over tomorrow.

That said, I have enough money in the bank to get by; if you have that as a starting point, you can dispense with reliance on people whom you should never be naive enough to count on in the first place.

It’s called F**k You money, and it is necessary because in the real world no one watches your back.

Like the WABC ad once said” Money talks, nobody walks.

You don’t need much of it, though, to live the life of a recluse.  Even SS will do, depending on where you live.

The important thing is not to rely on anyone for anything — particularly emotionally.  Reliance on others is a weakness, a cancer that you must cut out or forever be vulnerable.

For this, asceticism and frugality go a long way.

I live in a small, modest house that I own outright.

I can afford my association dues, taxes and house insurance, in perpetuity.

I owe no credit card or any other kind of debt, and have affordable medical insurance thanks to Medicare.

I own a 10-year old V-6 SUV that runs like a tank and performs better on the road than those flashy V-4 toy cars that have become the fashion.

I go where I please — within reason — when I please — again, within reason.  I do not go to bars, restaurants, parties, and waste money on foolish things.

shep signI want nothing, or at most, very little, from anyone — not even friendship.  Sometimes I need experts to help with some technical matter in the house.  For this, I pay them, usually off the books. Little is said beyong discussing the matter at hand.

I regard most people who need to be showoffs as shallow; usually such individuals turn out to be intellectual lightweights.

I do not like loud people, or garrulous ones.

I only hold in contempt those who try to misrepresent, or worse yet, attempt to wilfully destroy other cultures; worst of all in my view are those pathetic souls who comes to the West and betray their own through snarling lies and vileness: such peope are consumed by self-hate and do not even know who they are.

I never watch television, not even the NFL — though I used to be an avid fan, until I learned what this game can do to the brain of anyone who plays it.

I read a lot, and remain interested in computer programming — which was my career, once, a long time ago.

I do not have a lot of patience for pointless small talk

I do not go on FB or Twitter.

I do not obsess over anything having to do with the orange clown or any other would-be fascistos who seem to have much of the planet in their thrall nowadays.  Small, racist minds are easily deceived.

I do not care to waste my time forming an opinion about things that do not concern me.

Instead I lead my own life, solitary much of the time, though I am married, and only do things that are relevant to me personally and directly.

There is little the world can offer me that is more engrossing than a serious, well-researched, well-written book about some arcane topic that I find of interest — SVG programming, Islamic art and calligraphy, 19th century decadent literature are good examples.

Very few people — if fact none that I know of  — share this eclectic mix of interests.

Over the next 12 days, I shall finish getting the house set up for Geneva’s arrival.

She is a sweet little purebred sheppie that is going to my companion for the next decade. She shall be by my side, wherever I go.

Today I shall finish cleaning up the lanai and start affixing protective barriers to keep her form busting through my back porch screens if someone or something unexpected shows up in the yard.

This is tough, physical work — at my age — but I relish it, as it keeps me busy.

This general attitude is what they mean, when they say old age is the happiest time.

You no longer feel compelled to impress anyone.

You are comfortable in your own skin, though it be wrinkled, and no longer apologize to anyone about anything.

You are content being.

If you are fortunate enough to have earned enough money through a legit job in your younger years to get by, which doesn’t take much in some parts fo the world, and are reasonably healthy, you truly need no one, though it shall always be others, one day, who shall personify what it means to be where you came from when you no longer can.

You may occasionaly hire specialists — such as doctors — to perform specific, time-delimited tasks, and go on your way.  If you have friends, that is a good thing; but you shall never allow them to become a burden.

If you have succeeded in leading your life without being a self-important, self-interested dick or ruining anyone else’s existence, then you’re already ahead of the game.

If you have never done any real harm, then you are mightier than Google; if you have, which is the way of most flesh, proportional repairs may be needed, suited to fit, without perversions.

Do not be tempted to punish yourself or others.

Punishment is best left for God to decide.

If it once seemed when you turned 50 or 60 that you had been pushed out, well get over it.

You can return the favor — and have a ball doing it.

You can live in a world they know nothing about.  A world that shall remain forever closed to them.  Your world.  The one without smartphones or social media or group think cults or the need to get ripped in the gym. That time is now over.

One day, you shall be old and helpless — unless you die first.

But until then, you are the leader of the pack, even if that pack consists of demons that have pursued you since forever, as well as the angels that have always been by your side protecting you.

Be nice to them, and always thank them:  for one day you may need them, again, when you least expect it.

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