Falling into place

XVG
a screenshot of the design space of XVG, the app I’m building

Last 2 weeks, my back gave, as did my comp — oddly enough, both desktop and the display died at the same time. I’ve gabbed enough about my back problems in prior posts, so no more of that. Beata Maria Virgo Perdolens begone:  the zounds of the flesh are now mostly in the past — though I am looking forward to being in receipt of the Delta 8 package sometime like soon, man, and transport myself to some entirely higher plane of consciousness.

I set up my new comp yesterday in the monk’s cell / study where I generally lurk. It’s a Dell XPS 8940 with an i5 processor, Intel UHD Graphics 630 card with shared graphics memory, 16 GB of RAM and 1TB HDD storage capacity.

The monitor is a brand new 27″ HP QHP 27mq with IPS and QHD. I think Quad HD makes sense, given the scaling issues that come up, still, with 4K monitors.

This new display has 4 times the resolution of the one that just died, so I am a happy camper. But I predict I’ll be tempted to get a UHD at some point in the coming year as a second display.

So for those of you who are curious to know, here is what my study / hermit’s cell looks like these days. Indeed, this is THE VERY PLACE where I write this blog, think, sleep, code, meditate, and watch movies or TV when not otherwise busy — as well as practice endless mental tahlees.

bookcase
One of two bookcases in this hermit’s cell
desktop and desktop monitor
My desk
GSD
My dog
egyptian flag
A custom replica I had made of the royal Egyptian flag. That is me in the pic by the Gezira Club Lido when I was about 14 or so.
travel gear
My travel gear. I travel light, no suitcases, and have my gear always at the ready
dell xps
My JBL Charger 3 atop my XPS. I use it as an external speaker, connected to the XPS via Bluetooth

This may not look impressive, but it is all that I need in terms of physical living space, together with the ensuite bathroom which also has a shower. 20 years ago, I lived in a million dollar house in Greenwich CT on a manicured acre of land that I planted with native wildflowers and beautiful evergreens that I never got to see mature. I thought I would raise a family there. I thought my wife and I would grow old together in that house, after having lived in cramped Manhattan apartments for 15 years.

gsd puppy
My wife with Attaturk on the kitchen floor of the Greenwich house

Well…that didn’t happen. So it goes. The headwinds of cyclical rootlessness prevailed. I burned in two months then what I live in on now for a year. Living below the poverty line for years has had a way of removing most of my more fanciful delusions, the ones that told me that friends and family truly cared and that in the end, people are basically good and you can find someone other than yourself to trust if you look hard enough. If feeling embittered can be avoided — and this is no easy thing for me — then not caring if you lose your material trifles — or your mind in a ditch — or your erstwhile friends in a lurch — can be enormously liberating: a big fuck you to everything the swells think is important, or that which society dangles as some reward: a prize, recognition, money, power…. and the rest of it.

That is why my “Che” US army shoulder bag — same as the one I took with me to Paris at age 20 — and  Filson duffel always hang on the door, ready to be packed with a passport or two, some money, and  a few simple items of clothing, all at a moment’s notice…falling in place is just as easy as falling out of place — becoming once again the universal Bedouin, the wandering Arab, the bina yallah Man — and either option is equally rewarding, if timed right, for the days of score settling and disappointment and uncertainty and personal humiliation are now finally over. Rira bien qui rira le dernier — mais sans amertume.

Finally, lest you are feeling pity and perhaps even a touch of disdain for this pauvre type loser, a petit con mesquin (which is derived from the Arabic maskeen: i.e., poor), seemingly trapped in perpetuity in some swampy,  impoverished Florida oubliette, may I mention, Alphonso, that I can — and do — console myself in the view, such as the one this morning from the back porch of my crib. Hélas!

duck
A dawn most fowl

leaving america

Incredible Sufi Lecture in English

This is a really interesting lecture on Sufism given by Pia Zia Inayat.  I particularly like his tracing of the etymology of “saracene,” and well as his discussion off Islamic futuwa.

As MSNBC today wrings its hands over the favoritism by Governor DeSantis re the dispensation of vaccines to rich Floridians, I chuckled and maybe even pushed un soupir before turning towards things that are of import to me.

Certainly Sufism has become quite central to my thoughts of late, as I approach 70, and my mind stop paying attention to all that is non-essential to me at this age.

I truly do live the life of a hermit now.  I visit no one; I barely speak with anyone outside of my immediate family; I go to great lengths not to be distracted or sucked into the strange madness that is the United States, even though — for the time being — I remain in America.

Yesterday my Dell tower XPS arrived.  I spent the day get my study ready for it; I have swept and cleaned the floor and the carpet and washed the walls and got rid of the dust in on my books (I have several bookcases in my study).

I often sleep in the study, on the floor in fact, on a couple of yoga mats over which I place several blankets and a fake goose down pillow.  Very effective for bad backs; and quite cheap too — no need to spend thousands on a bed and fancy mattress when the floor will do just as well.

Back pain started up a bit this morning, from all the exertions with the dog yesterday at Sugar Beach (see previous post), and I felt tired suddenly.  Then I weighed myself, and made note of the fact that I have lost 7 pounds in the last 9 days.  Good.  I hope to keep up the good work in that regard, and perhaps one days be as thin as I was at nineteen.

Once I set up the comp — this is a very high end machine actually — I shall resume programming the Islamic geometry design tool that I’m building.  I am doing this as a form of spiritual meditation, and hope that I can create something that will enable others one day to create beautiful Islamic patterns on their computers as a way to get closer to Allah.

Peace.

My back is (almost) back!

florida beach
a stretch of beach near my house….

Great progress today.

I was able to take poochie to the beach.  She loved it, and is now sleeping contentedly on the couch beside me as I type this post.

A week ago Monday, I was in the ER, unable to sit up straight or walk due to back pain.

ER doc prescribed me a cocktail of pain killers (trammies plus OTC Tylenol and script ibuprofen) and anti inflammatory steroids (prednisone) that actually worked — though I am still experiencing variable discomfort on my lower right rib cage.

Some opium based nasal spray would have been nice, too, at the height of the screaming in bloody agony pain  — but… no such luck.

Been off the Tramadol for days now, but still am taking (reduced) doses of Tylenol , ibuprofen and prednisone – once or twice a day, as needed.

I take the muscle relaxer (Cyclobenzaprine) at night, and that helps me sleep all the way through till dawn.

3 chi

In a few days, I should be getting a Delta 8 THC delivery via Fedex from 3 Chi.

I hope this works better than the CDB gummies I purchased on Sunday from a local head shop.

D8
Scam product — do not buy this crap — contains NICOTINE!!!

What a waste of 60 dollars that was.

It would be nice to soon be free of all remaining discomfort, and maybe slip into a nice relaxed state of mind so I can start my Yoga with Adrienne for back pain exercises.

If this encouraging progress continues, I’ll be taking my paddle board out the intercoastal soon enough — can’t wait for all the snowbies to leave already, and walk or swim on empty beaches again.

Easy does it, though.  I was unable to walk without my homemade Shillelagh only a week ago or so!

My new Dell arrives in a couple of days.  Once I set that up, I was will be able to plunge back into my programming hobby project.

What else?

I am no longer following the cable news political shows on MSNBC or CNN.  My blood pressure thanks me for that.

Instead, I read books from my rather arcane personal library or watch foreign movies on Amazon prime when I just want to chill out and vegetate in the is-ness of it all.

Last night I watched this French one.

school of life movie
They spoke standard 1930s French, so I understood the dialog without subtitles!

I absolutely loved it!

So life is good, there’s money in the bank, and my wife does not hate me this week.

Who could ask for anything more?