Home is an Area Code

Today I went to a T-Mobile store in FL to get a new phone line.

I need my phone now that I am going to be traveling again.

Nothing fancy, mind you, just a Sim card for the Alcatel Flip I bought a couple of years back, that’s been gathering dust since T-Mobile dropped prepaid.

Well prepaid is back, baby, with a vengeance.

Only 10 bucks a month, yo.

The young guy behind the counter asked me what area code I’d like, and without even thinking about it I said 914.

So he asked for a zip code associated with that, and without hesitation I said 10708 — which is the zip of the house where I will be living for much of the remainder of this year, more or less, starting this Wednesday.

porsche 914
The car I did not get as a graduation present in 1969 – a Porsche 914

To my surprise, a 914 was available.

I thought, that’s impossible.

Wasn’t there a big run on 914 numbers, back in the day?

Maybe so.

But the kid had a 914 for me all ready and waiting to be grabbed, and I didn’t even have to show a NYS license or some utility bill that proved I lived in Westchester.

And it wasn’t just any number, but absolutely one the coolest 914 numbers I could have hoped for.

I felt like I’d won the NYNEX lottery.

Can’t wait to get on JetBlue early in the AM on Wed.

Geneva at rest

And I can’t wait to watch my beloved NY Jets live play a full season worth of games again, or buy bagels or pizza or croissants that taste the way they are supposed to, take showers in water that doesn’t smell funny or make it hard to get soap off your skin.

I can’t wait to show my beloved poochie later this summer what real grass and trees look like.

Most importantly, I can’t wait to end the nightmare of wasting another decade of my life, with no way out, in a fetid swamp infested with aging, right-wing, cro-mags, instead of, say, going for Sunday strolls in Central Park, or, better yet, Sunday drives up Route 22 to buy noble smokeabilities — now that it’s recreational legal in a part of America that is really more home to me more than any other place on earth.

Think I will start posting things again, despite how uncool blogging has become.


The endless gloom fest has finally come to an end!

The aimless searches of yonder years for greener pastures can now cease!

I’m going back to civilization, dog!

And you’re coming with me!

So what is home, after all is said and done?

It’s all a question of area codes, mostly.

Some are better than others.

And some are just plain toxic.

leaving america