Gator golf

florida gator
pic taken on 3/31 around 6PM from my back yard

Typical Fla snowbird playing golf across the water from my house.

This photo was taken witn an iPhone 12 Pro Max. I’m surprised the quality of the “telephoto” effect is so poor, for a phone / camera that cost me around $1,200 to buy, all-cash price a few weeks ago — not including tax.

Now I am fairly sure this nice old Trumpster thinks this alligator will never go after him, and the chance are the gator won’t.

But I have also seen golfers go right up to the edge of the water to play a golf ball that rolled off the green.  Plenty of gators have lurked in the water around here, barely visible just under the surface.

I have seen large sand cranes suddenly disappear in a flurry pf feathers.  A gator also ate a dog that some hapless ol’ fella was walking around the same area.

A gator can run a short distance at 30 mph, but that is unusual.

Yet this dude is playing golf with his back to a nearby archosaur who could easily take his hand if not his arm off.  Any bigger, and he could drag him into this “lake” (in reality a big ditch) and drown him in a gator death roll.

Do you see why we call them Floridiots?

It’s not just the no masks issue.

leaving america




Despite an uptick in Covid cases in Fla, the idiots you find here — whether right wing goomba social rejects from Staten Island or Joisey, or entitled snowbirds (these are the “special people” with elevators in their 4K square foot beach-front homes, who come part time, but whose main geezer pad is usually some vomit-inducing McMansion “up north”), or just-visiting delusional spring breakers (how so very far from Where the Boys Are we have come!) — continue to flaunt mask wearing in public.

I took my dog to the beach this morning.  Lots of people there.  Not one person, other than I, was wearing a mask. And not one of them was smiling, let alone laughing. Funny, because the beaches I went to as a kid always seem to feature normal people enjoying themselves, having a good time with their wives and kids and family. And yes, they actually smiled and laughed, as I remember.

Notice the numerous, predatory baseball-capped Night of the Living Dead zombies dragging their varicose-laden feet behind the sea-grape vegetation. Trust them with anything at your own risk. Too bad such hideous ugliness has to be present amidst such beauty. Of course, it’s not that beautiful, Esse. The water is full of crap from Lake O discharges, and many of the fish caught (depending on the time of year) have cancer growths all over their slimy bodies.

Went to Publix supermarket afterwards to buy supplies, bunch of shit-kickers  walking around with no masks — the smugly arrogant expression on their faces daring you to start something. Do you start something at 69 with a 30 year old? Take him on. You know I would be sorry to do so. Despite all the revenge fantasies with random strangers that we all carry around. Hell, I even fought like a pussy at 20.

Full moon over a full parking lot at dawn in Florida beach

I asked the manager if he could compel them to wear masks — he said no, all he can do is offer a free mask. But they are not required to accept the offer, as Florida will not allow local municipalities to levy fines for flaunting wearing masks orders.

Florida is an ugly, angry state full of old, angry, entitled right wing assholes. Is at least half of America populated by anything else?  Do you really think that a people who think COVID vaccines are mostly derived from the blood of unborn fetuses will prevail long term against, say, a China that already owns half of London?

My idea of a crowded beach

Take my advice.

german shep dog
my baby girl sizing up the Atlantic ocean

Do not come here — ever — whether to visit, and especially, do not even think of moving here, unless you are prepared to worship at the altar of permanent ignorance and entrenched racism. If your parental units expire here in some horribly depressing condo, arrange for the funeral director to have the bodies shipped to be buried in a cemetery that is not sitting on a watery swamp, but instead, on earthen solidity — the place they came to, originally, with their heads full of dreams, mistaken ones, but dreams nevertheless. They will appreciate it, albeit belatedly, assuming one feels anything after being dead, let alone something that can be considered “belated.”

water is key

Can’t wait to get my beautiful dog out of this spiritual hellhole.


leaving america

Covid Rollout Disaster in Florida Continues


Happy St. Paddy’s! Wonder how many teens will hang off the lamp posts on Fifth Avenue today! Used to be Metro North gave special dispensation till late at night, for all the Fordham kids.  Guess no more.

Logged in the Publix site today before 7am.  My county was fully booked by 7:11am.  So the disastrous Publix rollout continues.

Tried the Winn-Dixie web site yesterday.  That too was a complete clusterfuck, impossible to negotiate on a smartphone, hard on a laptop. Apparently Winn Dixie thinks it has the vaccine shots, but then when you drill to, say, their pharmacies near me, they don’t.

There is one other way, logging in through a Florida (contracted out to who knows who: privacy and HIPPA issues are ignored by Florida during this pandemic) web site that directs you to get shots at some mall a half+ hour away in brain-dead, stop-and-go snowbird geezer traffic.

Meanwhile very few reports by the county or state w/ any hard information regarding the vaccine rollout in this state — such as what should people with Graves’ Disease (which I have) do.  Had to venture to the UK’s (country of my birth) NHS web site for that information.

And Spring break is coming up — school closed here starting today — with  no mask mandates on the beaches, bars or the many golf courses around here.

I am going to wait for the Federal Vaccine deployment to fix this Republican-engineered mess.

Update: drove up to my local Winn-Dixie.  They said they are giving it, but there are no spaces available.  Try the web site again on Monday, they said.


leaving america